As the staff member approached – I confessed. “I have contributed to an angling cold war regime…”

I recently found a partial ‘weapons cache’ in an old tackle box. It was hidden in my basement behind a box of hunting gear. A slightly-rusted, old fishing spoon was the first to tumble out of the tackle box when I accidentally tipped it over. The yellow and red diamond spoon was supposed to slay Lake Trout in Tim Lake.

At least – that’s what I told the guys before the trip. It never caught at thing.

Then, there was an old, white, dollar bin jerk bait that i picked up that look similar to something I saw on a Bob Izumi show. Once again, I talked it up with the guys on the boat about how great this lure was going to work.

It caught zero fish.

Things just got out of control after that. It became tradition for me to brag about my secret lure as I massed lures of potential mass destruction. Big or small I would buy it and try it.

Most did not work.

Some did.

Like a silver walleye diver in Lake Opeongo  and a yellow FlatFish in Lake Vernon.

Sometimes, I am so convinced in my mind that my secret lure should work, that I will refuse to change it when everyone else has resorted to the to their “tried and true” lure/bait presentation. Perhaps, this is what drives me to stockpile a mass of hooks, flashing metals, and scented plastics.

The ‘standard issue’ presentations will always work – but I like to change things up.

Mix things up a little.

Besides, the trash talk about my secret fish offerings make things more fun on the radio and around the camp supper table. The guys expect it now.

“So, can you hook you this ole’ fishing lure dictator up with a little something I can take to the lake with the boys next week?”, I asked the stunned (and silent) staff member in the fishing aisle. He took his time taking in all I had just said to him in. I continued down the aisle looking for a new secret weapon.

Suddenly, out of the blue, I heard the staff member say, “How about this?”

I looked down at the strange looking contraption in his hand, “this has 15 fish attracting surfaces with laser cut hooks and titanium alloy upper body. It smells like leeches in the morning and golden shiner in the evenings. It never snags and instantly retracts its hooks when the fish is in the landing net. It is OnStar ready and can follow a pre-programmed travel path during reel-ins.”

“It’s perfect!” I said and placed it in my cart.

A weapons treaty will have to wait one more year.